Sunday, May 4, 2008

The slow down of new posts has begun.

My apologies for not having posted in a while.
I'm almost done with school FOREVER...
that is, until I start teaching...FOREVER.
I will put up a new review soon, probably about the movie Rocket Science, which I randomly picked up on my trip to Blockbuster, and ended up being pretty damn good.
For the time being, take a look at my buddies' blogs.
This one is from Leo the Jesus, lead singer of local musical phenomenon The City Life.
http://actlikeromansdressliketurks.blogspot.com
And this one is from Mark Heck, manager.
http://thebeardlesshipster.blogspot.com/
Sorry, I'm not more clever right now.
I'm very tired.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Little Children, and Sesame Street Old School

Whoa!
So I am already here with my first deconstruction, and it's been like what, two days?
Ok, here's the problem.
The first DVD i shall be reviewing is not actually one that i own, but one that i've rented. So it kind of goes against the whole conceit of this blog. And the DVD contains nothing on it, but the movie itself. Not even a trailer. So this could be considered cheating, perhaps, but it could also be seen as me easing myself into the grueling process of devouring everything that I own.
The movie is Little Children, released in 2006. Starring Patrick Wilson (Hard Candy) and Kate Winslet (boobies!), the film is a look at the goings-on of suburban America. The two characters, Brad and Sarah, already married and with young children to boot, meet on a playground. As time goes on, they get closer and closer, looking forward to their daily meetings at the swing set or public pool, and they start doing it. A lot. Will they leave their proper families to run away with one another? Will Brad fail his bar exam again? Will Brad realize that he's already married to Jennifer Connelly?
The movie also features Jackie Earle Haley (Bad News Bears!) as a pedophile who castrates himself. So, yeah.
(It should be noted that I sort of fail as a legitimate movie reviewer. I don't have the patience for summarizing plot. I don't, however, have a problem with revealing crucial plot points or twists. This means every one of my reviews will be SPOILER ALERT!!1!)
My friend Whitney (that's right, Whitney Brown. Three posts and two mentions. Not bad, my friend, not bad.) said that Little Children is way better than American Beauty. That American Beauty is like the red-headed stepchild to Little Children.
He is wrong. American Beauty is far superior, a classic of recent cinema.
Little Children is good. But, come on.
I like the font used in the titles and credits, though. It's pretty sweet.
It uses the narrator from Frontline.
It has Jennifer Connelly in it.
Overall, it was quite good.
Now, here would come the time where I would make my ultimate decision as to whether or not I would sell my DVD on Ebay, or realize that I could never truly part with the movie.
However, I don't actually own it, and to sell the copy that I now possess would surely anger Blockbuster Online.

ALSO, BONUS NOT_REAL REVIEW!>!_!

Recently released: Sesame Street Old School.
The first set features the years 1969-1974. It features the premiere episode of each season as well as various selected sketches from those years. For some reason, I got sent Disc 2 of 3, forcing me to be lost in terms of Sesame Street continuity. I watched the 1970 episode.
Sesame Street is a fucked up show.
Is it a hour long these days? Cause it sure was back then.
There was like a 7 minute long segment about firemen, with a high-pitched, beautiful, 70s AM radio style song describing what the firemen are doing.
There's a dude wearing a helmet explaining that the difference between short and tall people is...well, just listen.

There's two Bill Cosbys reciting the alphabet.

There's no Elmo.
There are the Yip-Yip Martians.

Overall, Sesame Street is pretty awesome.
And there's no Elmo.
Yet.

Monday, April 14, 2008

so...
instead of starting off with a bang, a well-rounded, complete dissection of my first DVD (I'm not sure which one it will be...off the top of my head, what's the first DVD I own in alphabetical order? Adaptation...Is it a number? 13 Going on 30...I don't really own that.) I am sitting in Loyola University's library (7th best in the nation according to the Princeton Review!) using their 7th best computer to type a blog about absolutely nothing of importance. I told myself I would use this time to finish up a take-home quiz for my 19th Century British Fiction class, which actually turns out to be a 10-page paper each time I do one, but instead, I'm honing the art of procrastinating. And besides, bestcrosswords.com hasn't updated with a new crossword since this morning, so really, what else can I do?
In about 40 minutes, I will be on my way to do A Gentleman's Delight, the biweekly internet radio show I do with Richard Dubourg and Whitney Brown. You can listen to it on crescentcityradio.com Mondays from 9-11 pm and Thursdays from 11-1 am. When we first started it, we were excited about it. We had all sorts of plans and ideas for it. As time went on, and people stopped listening, we've become a lot more jaded about the whole affair. Perhaps if more people listened, we would put on better shows, but really, its a Catch-22. So what I'm saying is, listen, and then we'll be entertaining. Or something.
Here's things I like that can be easily found and linked from Youtube. Enjoy!





...aahhh, i'm bored.

Introduction

With a moniker so clever and boring that it could only be found as the title to a sociological thesis paper or the chapter of a Chuck Klosterman novel, I hereby begin this blog.
But really, it is not for you, the reader. It is for me.
You see, I have a problem.
I own. A LOT.
With a DVD collection somewhere in the 400+region (I am typing this from my school library, meaning that my estimate could be way off,) I have recently realized that...I don't need all this stuff. I own movies I've never watched, but have merely bought because the Sunday newspaper ads have told me that Best Buy is selling copies of Stephen King's Pet Semetary for 4.99. (And yes, I have never seen Pet Semetary. And I'm ok with that.)
But i don't want to be ok with that. I don't want to own movies I have never seen. In fact, I don't think I want to own movies that I have seen. I don't need to own them. I've seen them. How often will I really watch them? Not often enough to need to own them.
Therefore, this blog is my homebase for entirely consuming, and then depossessing, any and all movies that I own. I will go through my collection, one by one, initially in alphabetical order, but eventually in no particular order (I can't watch all the seasons of South Park in a row. Can't do it.) I will watch everything contained on the discs, including all commentaries, deleted scenes, featurettes, and slideshows of images. And then, after having utilized the disc in all possible ways, I will sell it, using the money for other ventures (but most likely just spending it on other crap I don't need, i.e. video games, cigarettes, heroin.)
Perhaps I won't sell everything I own. Hell, I like some things enough to watch them more than once. But i know, deep in my heart, that I don't need everything I have, and I want it to be gone. Plans are, after completing the disc, to immediately sell it on ebay, allowing you, the reader, the chance to own what I have already deconstructed, and therefore, also don't need. But hey, as long as it's not taking up my space anymore!
There will be no regularity in blogs. I won't just be consuming a DVD; I'll be consuming time! Posts will come out when I'm ready for them to.
Also, if you have any requests for DVDs to be reviewed, I will do my best. However, it seems a bit counter-productive for me to review things that I don't own. I'll make my decisions on a case-by-case basis.
And, I'll probably end up using this blog in the fashion of the old Livejournal (and Deadjournal, whee!) form, to, you know, just talk about stuff.
Here...we...GO!!!!!!!!!